I Can See Clearly Now

I can't believe it's already been over a month since my miscarriage. I'm thankful that the time has gone by so quickly. I thought I was doing great, but it wasn't until last week that I realized I wasn't doing so hot after all those first few weeks.

Up until last week, I really was just in a daze I guess. I didn't want to cook dinner, clean, go grocery shopping or even blog and I wasn't eating well. I wasn't dwelling on the miscarriage or emotional about it or anything (on the surface anyway), I just wasn't myself.

I was really bad. Seriously, I don't think I cooked more than a couple of meals, Clara ate lots more junk than usual and watched a lot more television. The worst part though, I didn't even send Mother's Day cards. I know, I'm terrible. Chris told me last week that I didn't even act like I was excited about his new job. Ouch.

I'm not sure what pulled me out of my funk, but it could've been one of a few things. It could've very well all been hormonal. Now that my cycle's back on track, I'm feeling pretty good. Also, I could've been malnourished. I had a complete lack of appetite and I also kept forgetting to take my vitamin. I forced myself to start taking it again last week and I've also been eating more. Or, it could've been getting that first paycheck that snapped me back into reality. Whatever the reason, I'm very glad to be back amongst the functioning.

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I want to keep myself busy in the coming months to keep my mind off of things. I finished painting the living room and kitchen and have plans to paint our room. (Later though, that last paint job took me forever.) Friday we bought new big girl furniture for Clara and I put it all together this weekend. We were supposed to go get her mattress tonight, but it won't be in until tomorrow. I've already got her new bed together and the crib in the other room, so Clara's sleeping on the floor tonight.

I found her furniture on clearance at Wal-Mart. It actually looks quite nice and although it's particle board, it's really heavy with nice pulls. It doesn't look cheap to me. It's a twin sized sleigh bed, 3 drawer dresser and an armoire all in an antique white finish with pretty scroll accents. We got all three pieces and the rail and slats for $500. Not bad at all. I was bummed that they were sold out of the nightstand. I'll be sure to post pics when we get the bed all put together.

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We found out last week that Clara's going to have another girl cousin! Yay! Now if Aunt Linsey can pull through and produce a girl too, those stinky boys will be outnumbered. She should be finding out before too long.

Oh, and a quick note on girls in the family. I was the first granddaughter born on my dad's side after five boys and Clara was the first great-granddaughter born after four boys. Not sure why I just thought of that, but I did.